Real Guide to Sharing Your (ESTIMATED) Due Date

So one thing I learned with my first, who was born at 41 weeks 6 days almost 2 weeks “over due” (though probably was actually not that far along since my cycles were very irregular then and no idea when she was conceived and no early ultrasound to date her either), is that you NEVER say exact date, just rough general time. You’re not due “August 21″- you’re due the end of August, if not “early September” depending on how annoying and uninformed the person you are speaking to is. Even so many people will just hear “August” and not even note the “end” part meaning they expect you to give birth August 1 not realizing that would be 3 weeks early, possibly even prematurely if your dates are incorrect. Many are off by two weeks or more and since ovulation can occur ANYTIME, not the standard day 14 junk, unless you know exact day ovulation occurred, very hard to be certain. Even knowing when the sex that resulted in conception occurred may not be enough as semen can live upwards of a week if not more (rare but given ideal conditions, it could happen). The whole standard dating system is pretty iffy too and many question if 40 weeks since last menstrual period is correct (that would mean only 38 weeks of actual gestation). My daughter was born in early September despite her August due date and most people just heard August and come sundown on July 31, wanted to know if I had the baby yet:/ Going over due almost 2 weeks wasn’t bad for me but answering annoying people everyday, including my dad who called daily to ask, was HELL!

So here’s your cheat sheet- if you’re due before the 14th of any given month, just say you’re due “at the end of ____”. Now if you tend to go right around or before your due date and/or don’t want to worry people too much if your “February baby” comes “early” in January, you could say “mid ___”. The term “mid” is also nice because it’s even more ambiguous though if you’re on the cusp of two different months, only refer to the later one. So if you’re due anytime after the 14th, say you’re due “beginning of _______” (listing the following month so if January, say February and so forth). Then you’ll not only avoid annoying “you’re about to pop” comments (or at least minimize them), you also won’t have issues with people inquiring why you haven’t had the baby YET, which is about as appropriate for them to grill you about as to when your latest bowel movement was:/ Also typically many moms, especially first time ones, go about a week “over due” (which is a bull term anyways but this helps it not be so frustrating). If you go earlier than your due date then people more readily will realize this and perhaps offer more assistance since the baby was “early”. Not only are babies much easier to care for when still in the oven, letting them get nice and golden brown means they get a little boost to development. Remember that due dates are still just estimates that can vary by two weeks or more, and even if you’re “ok” to birth at 37 weeks, that baby could actually be more like 35 weeks gestation which is very worrisome.

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Having the idea in your head that you’ll go longer rather than shorter helps mentally prepare you to endure those last few weeks which can get fairly uncomfortable, made so even more when you think baby should already be here. Having those around you in the same mindset helps reinforce this so just go with the “due month” idea NOT a “due date”.

So to see how this works, let’s look at February 2015 since it starts on a Sunday and is exactly 4 weeks long making it a great sample month. Let’s go over this a little:
if due 2/7, you’d be 39 weeks on 1/31, 38 on 1/24 so full term would only be from last week of January so people wouldn’t be too surprised if went a week early yet would grasp the seriousness of the situation should baby come a month early so say “mid February”

if due 2/14, 39 on 2/7, 38 on 1/31, 41 on 2/21 and 42 on 2/28 but still say “end of Feb” to avoid January speculation

if due 2/21, 39 on 2/14, 38 on 2/7, 41 on 2/28 and 42 on 3/7 so say at least “end of Feb” if not “beginning of March” depending on personal preference and how likely it is you’ll go into labor before your due date

if due 2/28 (39 on 2/21, 38 on 2/14, 41 on 3/7, 42 on 3/14) just say “beginning of March” or better yet “mid March” since even one day overdue will have people Facebook stalking you like mad!
So what’s your “due month”? Mine’s “March”;)

It’s A….

GIRL! So we had an ultrasound (and yes, I am well aware I lose crunchy points for submitting my child to questionable sound waves and not having a “surprise” baby) but we found out it was another girl! It seemed like forever to get done checking from head down to get to diaper region lol but finally found out. I almost suspected it was a girl when no big round bumps showed up as the tech was scanning around the legs. I wasn’t sure though since never really seen a boy ultrasound and to confirm girl, they usually have to get very exact view of the “three lines”. Truthfully we were hoping for a boy just to even the score and so that there’d be no pressure one way or the other to have future kids of this gender or that. Ironically my ideal would have been a boy this time then another girl for our 3rd with possibly another boy if we had a fourth (and then a cooper IUD after that many for sure if not sterilization after that LOL!).

I think it will really work out better though because now it won’t be so odd having them share a room (so no rush to get a 3 bedroom) and even though we tried to get many gender neutral items, about half ended up being girly so now almost completely set on clothes. There are a lot of old baby clothes I got right before my first grew out of them so eager to get more use out of them because they are just so cute! We also have her first car seat which I bought right away after found out it was a girl- a Cosco Scenera in pink with flowers:) I want to replace it with a nicer seat but it still is good and doesn’t expire for a few more years. We also have the 1st Years True Fit my first outgrew rear facing to put in our other vehicle but it, like the rest of our seats, are gender neutral colors.

Now if we can just come up with a name! I had a few alternates with first but wasn’t really crazy about any of them so forget most of them:/ I really hate names that are too common or worse “popular” (we considered both Charlotte and Sophia but no way was she going to be one of like a thousand in her class!) but also don’t want them to be so outlandish that it’s ridiculous. I’m all about standard, phonetic spellings too:) I would list some of our options here but one, there aren’t many yet and two, I like to keep names super secret until baby is here. No stealing my baby’s name! Oh but also my placenta is posterior this time just like it should be! My first was anterior and it was hard for our old midwife to palpitate the baby’s position (resulting in worries of breech at 36 weeks) as well as making it harder for baby to get in optimal position. She came out anterior but pretty sure I started labor with her posterior as I had to stand through each contraction (which was grueling after not sleeping all night)! So the birth geek in me is super excited about that! 

Happy Int’l Babywearing Week and then some rant on the sexualization of children…

So it’s International Babywearing Week and thought it was awesome that I just saw this commercial:

It’s Star Wars! It’s entertaining and quirky! It even has a DAD wearing his baby! (Sure it’s the less optimal forward facing “crotch dangler” carrier BUT at least it’s babywearing and normalizing both babywearing and specifically male babywearing! And in a cuter context than “The Hangover”.)

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However, the more I think about it the more I’m bothered by it. In particular, it’s the INFANT sized Princess Leia “slave girl” costume:/ This costume (link to Friends clip where Jennifer Aniston as Rachel wears Leia bikini) has, since Return of the Jedi premiered, been a very VERY sexy outfit and remains that way today. It’s pretty well known spank bank material for what’s now multiple generations of men. And yet, there’s a freaking BABY wearing that costume!?! Now yeah I don’t find that baby particularly sexy- she’s adorable though! Yet the faux bra bikini top complete with Madonna-esque torpedo cups just seems wrong.

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Then again I really hate toddler bikinis in general no matter how kiddish they are or how many Disney characters are on them. (Funny story- hubby wanted to go into a local sports store the other day. It’s right by our Trader Joe’s and we had never been so was easy to walk over. We walked whole store and only thing we bought was a little girl’s one piece swimsuit on clearance for $5! It was perfect though- no character and no faux sexy cuts. Just a ruffled high neck little girl’s swim suit that in every way said “little girl” and not “inspired by Jonbenet Ramsey”. You know you’re a dad when they only thing you get at the sports store is a toddler swimsuit!)

Anyways so there’s that. THEN upon analyzing it more, I realized that the mom, who looks pretty and seems like she’d have a fit body, is covered head to toe in a desexualizing Chewbacca the Wookie costume. Which is of course totally fitting with society because moms aren’t sexy in any way, right? Especially not if they’ve had a baby in the last year or so-  UGH! So the actual adult woman in the scene has to be in what’s almost the furry George Lucas version of a burka BUT the baby is in a sex slave bikini? Now granted the baby’s costume has a very obvious “body suit” underneath (presumably for warmth) with the actual “bikini” technically on the baby carrier not directly on the baby herself (himself? It could be a boy…) but does this not just keep getting creepier? The carrier pretty much blends right into the baby so it looks like the baby is wearing a pointed bra bikini (and correct me if I’m wrong but I believe the real Princess Leia’s costume was a thong back?). However the saving grace of this commercial is the fact that the pre-teen daughter dressed as a Death Star is fairly non-sexualized. We could argue you can see both her face with hair and her legs despite the costume totally concealing her torso. Yet her face and hair is very natural yet pretty (no Toddler in Tiaras porn make up and teased hair) and her legs while showing are covered by dark tights though the costume does end at what would be a very short hemline if it was a mini skirt. (Not that I don’t love and have always loved mini skirts but it’s saying something when it’s not only a girl wearing one BUT a large corporation choosing to put her in one.)

I’m not sure what to make of it all. I don’t feel babies should be particularly modest beyond sanitation via a diaper and weather appropriate layers. I admittedly don’t do much nakey time here and prefer everyone in the household generally wear something that they could run outside in if there was a house fire or something yet still be decent. However bras are very much a sexual clothing item design to cover (often temptingly and certainly so in the case of the Star Wars bikini) the secondary sex organs known as breasts. Infants obviously don’t have those so it’s just all the odder:/ A bare baby butt or baby in only a diaper is innocent enough but lingerie like costumes which are well known for cosplay sexual role play? Not so much. The need for the baby to be Princess Leia also seems to be “required” because our society so genderizes babies. Gawd forbid if you dress your newborn daughter in anything but pink, pink and more pink! Otherwise people won’t know she has a vagina:/ (Seriously why is it so paramount to know “boy or girl”? Are you putting up a Eharmony profile for your tot?) This is rather new too- in the past boys and girls wore dresses, often handed down from older siblings of either gender and pink actually used to be a boy color. I don’t know why the ONLY feminine costume (which in the Star Wars universe is almost entirely just Leia as Family Guy so hilariously has pointed out) is the most sexualized version. While not as popular as the infamous Bjorn style carrier, they could have had a baby Yoda on a daddy’s back in a carrier as Luke Skywalker training in the swamp from The Empire Strikes Back.

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The Jabba outfit however is pretty creative. I’ll give them that but ironically Jabba never actually “wore” Leia unlike Luke who DID wear Yoda. The back pack type hiking baby/toddler carriers like Kelty’s are perhaps even more well known than more recent Bjorn style, let alone more hardcore babywearing back carries with a woven wrap. Any of those option would have been more authentically Star Wars than the Jabba/Leia duo without icky baby as sex slave connotation. Only thing I can think of is maybe race played into this as Luke is of course white and the family is African American (is that too PC? Can I say black? Erring on the side of caution so sorry if that’s not right…). However the son appears to be Luke as fighter pilot so not like it’s a hard and fast rule. (Lando never was in a fighter pilot costume, was he?) Of course Princess Leia was white too so again no hard and fast rule here. Anyways so many things going on here.

It just seems funny that the commercial is almost subliminally sexualizing progressively younger females. The mom is giant hairy covered beast (not very sexy unless you’re a Furry), the pre-teen is a bit less covered and the baby is in lingerie more or less. So conflicted because I’m glad to see the majority of the females in non-slutty costumes but then the baby kind of ruins the whole benefit of that. It’s encouraging that even the background characters aren’t in stereotypical “sexy whatever” costumes from what I could tell. Featuring the baby in a very sexual costume couldn’t have been done in a void. Overly sexy little girl’s costumes have been an issue for awhile now. So it begs the question, did they do this purposefully? Like seriously Verizon? Granted your ad was noticeable enough that I remembered exactly what company it was for on my first guess when googling BUT really? You “sanitize” almost every other element in the commercial then throw in a “sex slave Princess Leia baby”? WTF!?! I so want to love this commercial but it’s just a little too creepy… and not in the traditional “Zombie whose ear falls off in the phone store” way:/

Post Script- kudos to Verizon on a “color blind” ad. It was almost an after thought in analyzing this that the family was not white and how that plays into things. It’s very easy to relate to without having awkward quasi-racist “we’re specifically marketing to certain ethnicities” vibe many advertisements have when they cast predominantly non-white actors.

Breasts Aren’t Sexual??? Let’s be honest…

Many lactavists (lactation-activists for those not in the know) love to declare that “breasts aren’t sexual” when defending a mother’s right to nurse in public and the accusation that doing so is somehow obscene. Breastfeeding is of course not sexual in and of itself. I along with probably most nursing mothers don’t think “oh yeah time to nurse- giggity”:/ If anything it’s like “man this kid is hungry again!?!” Maybe “oh what a cute little milk monster going to eat all the nummy yummies” depending on how sappy you’re feeling. However despite their practicality to our species as mammals (you know as in mammary glands), breasts can be quite sexual.

They are first of all, secondary sexual characteristics indicating sexual maturity. Most people, particularly in Western society and even more so in American culture, find “second base” to be an important step to “making a home run”. They are known to be particularly erotic and key to many women’s (notice I didn’t say all) arousal. Ironically the very same people who most often decry that “breasts aren’t sexual” in defensive of breastfeeding are often the same exact people who extol the ability for nipple stimulation (rather by pumping, nursing an older baby, manual manipulation, or good ole’ being felt up by one’s partner) to augment labor. (Some say it can even cause labor but many say that’s phooey since so many women have sex with plenty of breasts play throughout pregnancy and no premature labor; ditto for moms who nurse through pregnancy, or even myself who pumped ounces and ounces of colostrum day after day when my due date came and went with no luck lol!). They also love to talk about how nursing as soon as possible after birth helps the uterus contract down (known as involution) not only helping mom’s belly shrink, but also immediately postpartum can lessen bleeding, help the placenta “release” so it comes out without much drama and head off a potentially fatal postpartum hemorrhage. Additionally some women experience after pains from nursing the first few days because it makes their uterus contract so much. So obviously the natural parenting and lactivist community often are very aware of the breast- reproductive tract connection yet “breasts aren’t sexual”. (Remember orgasm is physically the involuntary contracting of the vagina and uterus- many women only, if at all, notice the vaginal contractions but the uterine ones often happen concurrently too. My first ever braxton hicks were post coital- nearly scared the sh** out of me until I started recalling these various pieces of information!)

Saying breasts aren’t sexual in my mind seems to reinforce the idea that moms particularly nursing moms aren’t sexual. Way to reinforce the Madonna/Whore complex! One of the reasons moms shy away from nursing is precisely because they don’t want to lose that aspect of themselves and their relationship! They “want their body back” or prefer to keep those “for their husband”. Hell even pro-sex and seemingly very family friendly author and orthodox Rabbi Schmuley Boteach said something to the affect of husband’s needs over baby’s needs and even if against mom’s choice:/ Just to get off track for a second and say what bull crap that is-
despite article’s stats, we personally saw very little if any decrease in sexual frequency despite exclusively breastfeeding to over 6 months and extended breastfeeding until about three, with cosleeping for over a year. We just used the fold out couch in our tiny apartment’s living room when baby was sleeping in our room and occasional fast quickies with baby in another room (either in a bouncer seat, play pen or a baby proofed area) when timing was mercilessly against us. Our average was and has been thorough out almost all phases of our relationship about every other day- much better than majority of married couples, even those without a baby. I don’t know exactly how we’ll manage with a second baby around (due in March) BUT there’s a reason I spaced my kids out over 3 years AND still insist my toddler naps daily. Our bathroom’s tub and shower seem particularly sexy in our current place, we have a walk in closet with a door that closes and even thinking about putting a mattress on the floor of the kids’ room to (safely) cosleep part time with the new baby in there (my toddler in her own bed- we night weaned her at 18 months by putting a mattress in her room and going in to comfort her as needed) while leaving our bedroom to be our love nest/den of iniquity depending on the day since the common practice of using baby’s unused nursery for adult alone time creeps me out- BTW that comedian is divorced now big surprise… Besides I’d just think about what accessories I’d want in there or what needs to be picked up and it would put me in full on mommy mode instead of sexy mode so not very down with having our room being used for a “family bed” while the second bedroom we’re paying like an extra $100/month for goes empty. However I’m proof it’s possible to remain sexually active in spite of being a nursing and cosleeping mother. It’s ironic that the Rabbi also states nursing as so tiring for mom since cosleeping is the most well known hack to get one’s rest while still nursing on demand:/ He also makes it seem as nursing’s benefits are merely a cold or two less for the child which while true, there are SO many other benefits that reach far further than just avoiding the sniffles! It’s also highly ironic that he thinks witnessing child birth can ruin a marriage when so many, especially in the natural birth and family/free/unassisted birth community feel it does anything but! Oh and it was never any trouble for me to go out to eat and nurse my baby in a sling as suggested in “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding“. It kept her content and quiet without any worry how my little baby was managing with a sitter (as well as meaning there was more money for our date which made them more frequent too). However “dates” were never a key in our relationship. In high school, we didn’t go out much unless it was a special occasion- just hanging out was fine by us! WHOA to think I liked his books, well enough to use them for writing my undergrad thesis on period sex lol and “recycling” it, ironically as suggested by my professors, for multiple classes for both my religious studies major and Jewish studies certificate (because my widely know party school had high standards BLAHAHAHAHA), but this article is pure crap. Then again when his key sex advice is to follow the laws of the Niddah and not have sex two weeks a month, that’s saying something. While MMSL  whose famous for having sex with his wife pretty much every night of his decades long and counting marriage, doesn’t actively promote period sex, it’s at least not absolutely against it unless the wife isn’t interested. Frankly it’s my FAVORITE cure ever for PMS! I’m so going to hell but hey blood is built in lube with no need for birth control;) Ok yes in rare incidents, women can get pregnant from sex on their period but typically only an issue for women who have very short cycles (like 21 days) and usually it isn’t even from ovulating during a period but from residual semen surviving long enough to fertilize an egg when it drops a few days later. Even the natural family planning/fertility awareness method bible known as “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” says that for the majority of people, at least the first 5 days of a cycle (aka shark week) are safe. Anyways, let’s see if we can get back on track here…

I know we’re up against a lot trying to normalize biological infant feeding over those demonic @$$holes who run the formula companies. (NOTE my issue is with the huge amount of disinformation and blatant “profits over people” hell profits over BABIES’ LIVES, mentality that formula makers promote- not moms who for whatever reason find themselves in need of a milk substitute to feed their child). Add in the deeply ingrained bodily and sexual shame of our culture, and we’re (because I do consider myself a lactivist) fighting a battle on two fronts! However that doesn’t mean we should ignore the implications of such phrases as “breasts aren’t sexual”. How do you think it makes mothers who are dealing with the sometimes confusing sensations nursing can cause? I know I put up big thick mental walls to avoid nursing becoming even the slightest bit sensual but I still had to limit hubby’s access to second base for a long time (especially any heavy oral contact) to reconcile the opposing functions of my breasts. I also will probably limit cosleeping a lot more next time because while not the full experience that article mentions, there were some awkward moments. I’ve been to quite a few La Leche League meetings as well as many other pro-breastfeeding AP groups and it’s NEVER brought up. In fact even “nursing manners” are not mentioned as much as they should be IME- and believe me, they would have helped A LOT! In fact sometimes they were even mocked as if moms who DON’T want a baby yanking on their non-nursing breast during a feeding are too uptight or something:/ Yeah because being uncomfortable when your own kid starts pinching your nipple is somehow wrong- you’re supposed to do whatever they want- sorry “need” because twiddling as it’s called is such a true need like breathing or eating:/ Yet another point the cult of martyrdom motherhood lost me on big time.

The linked article concerning arousal and nursing is one of the few places it’s even mentioned as a concern that I’ve seen (and while I don’t know everything, I’m fairly entrenched in the AP world so if I have seen little about it, I can’t imagine what a mainstream mom with even less resources and whose few are of the extremely anti-natural “just give the kid a bottle” variety would do!). This sort of void of discussion is even more horrendous when you realize how triggering this sort of thing could be to a sexual abuse survivor. Luckily there are some good resources out there for that but even that grave of a topic is infrequently touched upon. When one claims “breasts aren’t sexual” they’re invalidating a wide range of women’s experiences, shooting themselves (and their cause) in the foot so to speak.

Giving Him Space to Up his Alpha parts 1 and 2

So hubby’s work has been stressful more so than usual. Nothing too bad but it has him down. We even had a small fight a few days ago. The usual stuff and if you’re familiar with my interests, you can guess what it related to;)

Anyways, I tried to figure out the red pill thing to do. Part of me was tempted to start crying divorce but that was foolhardy and overly dramatic. It was one of those fights that I just didn’t want to have YET AGAIN. That’s of course all the more ironic given that we haven’t had that really come up in awhile since things are going so well. (Is it really going well though or are pregnancy hormones just calming my inner PMS tiger?) Then I thought well a separation or even the threat of one is too much too but some distance might help. Then I thought he just got switched (and well now, switched back) to a different schedule with a few days off in a row (usually it’s a day here and a part day here so no real weekend). Maybe sending him off to get some peace and quiet would be good ala NMMNG even if not the full week or two recommended in the book . A hotel or trip anywhere far would be a bit much BUT there’s a camp ground like a half an hour away that’s fairly inexpensive and he’d love that. I mulled over the idea as we finished our fight and made up, properly if you know what I mean;) Then less than a day later, I mentioned idea. “Hey you have two full days off in a row, why don’t you take some time to yourself and go camp at such&such that night?” He freaking loved it! I think more so than me even he doesn’t get much time off from parenthood. He’s usually either at work or home providing back up for me. So we’ll see. The experiment’s initial results should be seen by tomorrow late morning. I’m kind of worried- I mean what if something bad happens while he’s out there alone? Yet it doesn’t feel to off to me- he works late enough hours that I’m not going too crazy by myself. He’s seemed happier and very excited (or his version of excited which means if you pay close attention, you’ll see a half smile if you glance at just the right moment lol) so thinking it was a good idea. Man in the woods convening with nature in a rugged primal way- that should raise his T levels through the roof, though Lord knows that’s not lacking much;)

OUTCOME-
Success! He came home pretty happy and relaxed. We had a weird day or two of adapting to the new schedule but now things are fine. I wasn’t sure what time he’d be home so that was annoying because I was torn between going out to run some errands or just staying home and going with him later. I decided to just stay home even though he ended up coming home midday instead of in the morning. I took my time getting dressed and really slutted it up. Seriously meant to take a picture:/ The pregnant whore look was really working for me. It was so slutty that even after I toned down to go out, I was getting really bad looks at the super market later that night lol! It was hilarious! He in turn did bring me home some wild flowers (not sure if that’s legal but it’s the thought that counts, right?). Our toddler promptly declared them hers:) All in all it wasn’t a major thing but definitely a good thing to do. Oh and I also handed him “The Mindful Attraction Plan” on his way out and he got through a couple of chapters in it. Trying not to push that too hard but it was good. He said it made him think about how work is contributing to his energy levels and pondering what he could do to improve his position. A few days later he got a call about an opening with corporate he interviewed for and while he didn’t get it, they said they were very impressed with him and he was their second choice, only behind someone who had been with the company for a few decades lol! So while there’s no immediate improvement, there’s lots of potential and he’s much more optimistic.

So kinda haven’t been around much because….

I’M KNOCKED UP! Yeah so started a blog right before TTC (trying to conceive) then got pregnant and super tired not to mention super annoyed with dumb FB bullcrap so the combination had me avoiding the computer as much as possible. Hubby finally told his mom so freely discussing it (still waited until 12 weeks on even my private profile just in case) so now can post it here. I would have said something right away when hubby finally filled in the in laws but it was my daughter’s birthday AND we were also going on an overnight trip so yeah…

Anyways, almost 17 weeks and despite concerns about the safety of ultrasounds, we’re going in for one next month to get basic scan and find out the gender:) I’m planning another home birth (having specifically picked this state over another due to the legality of midwifery). I got my newborn cloth diaper stash more or less ready to go (with rest in closet), got a few more carriers for babywearing (probably will sell my strollers which barely got used anyways though might get double jogger if I can find one that’s not a fortune) and planning to encapsulate my placenta again, in house by hubby (depending on how I’m feeling I may do this one by myself). The Arm’s Reach Cosleeper is sitting in the closet ready to go though we may need to lift bed a bit to make it fit optimally. Having bought myself/daughter a Radian as my Mother’s Day present (because I am that much of a car seat geek), I now have 4 convertible car seats all still usable. Oh and I have pretty much all my daughter’s old clothes, specifically bought mainly gender neutral, ready to go. There is so much less to worry about this time! I love it! I miss having an excuse to look at all the cute baby stores but this baby has been in works for awhile now, even when pregnant with our first we were buying with future kids in mind. We’ll have a 3.5 year spacing which is awesome because my big girl is pretty independent for the most part now. So we’ll see!

Other than being tired (which amazingly wasn’t as insanely bad as last time when hubby was working nights and I slept not only when he was gone but again all day with him when he got home lol), I really haven’t had many symptoms. I had a touch of morning sickness last time but mainly it was food aversion and could only eat small amounts. This time it seems much less intense- I’m grossed out a little easier and not very hungry but otherwise nothing. I’ve kind of felt kicks which is nice since last time it was later since my placenta was anterior and it blocked a lot of the sensations (in addition to first time moms not recognizing kicks as easily as subsequent moms). However, I went from being normal looking woman with a little pouch I could suck in, to uber-pregnant belly whose muscles, ligaments and anything else that MIGHT have allowed me to suck it in, suddenly went totally limb! Seriously at five weeks had someone tell me that such and such product “is safe for you and baby…” my toddler who I often refer to as my baby was still in the parking lot with daddy:/ THANKS! However I even lost a little weight! Love it! Forever now have been hoping to lose weight to get ready for pregnancy and lo and behold when I get pregnant it starts coming off grr!

So yeah- that’s why I fell off the face of the earth:) I have posts in reserve but they need this or that so waiting to put them up. Also should have some fun pregnancy/baby stuff coming up to write about so stay tuned!

FLYing

So I wrote a while back about The Mindful Attraction Plan and how there’s quite a few things that stood out to me as things I should work on. I haven’t came up for a full out plan of attack but decided maybe checking out FLYlady  again would help. I learned about her in one of my mother’s unsuccessful attempts at resolving her hoarding back in junior high. We barely had a working computer and she used to PRINT all of the emails! ALL of them! OMG I don’t know if I’ve ever printed off an email my entire life! Why do old people do this? Do they not understand you can read things off the screen? Have they never watched a foreign film? I mean that concept isn’t like crazy modern…

Anyways I had seen some of it and liked it. In college right before getting married, I had joined and was trying to get on the bandwagon. It was nice and I even made a few good internet contacts through their community. However it was all at once overwhelming and underwhelming for a college student in a then 400-something square foot, one bedroom apartment. I read both Sink Reflections and SHE but really resisted the structure. Plus we had moved a couple times by that point and we’re fitting comfortably in our shoe box (ok it’s not NYC shoebox but it barely felt bigger than my bedroom/bath in my mom’s condo). So cleaning wasn’t a huge issue- we could tidy up fairly quickly and the cat wasn’t in his scratch up all the carpets stage of life yet:/ Seriously any advice there?

I really hadn’t done too much with FLYlady in years so it was fun checking it out again. Plus I now live in FLY country (ok not same area but fairly close) so it seemed fitting. I must have crazy good timing. When I started they were just ending a week in the kitchen “zone” going into the extra room/main bathroom “zone” (which for me is the toddler’s room and her/the guest bath) all of which tend to be areas that always need some extra TLC. Now it’s the master bedroom “zone” which is sort of easy for me. The habit of the month is laundry which is not too difficult- I’ve always tried to follow the philosophy of “a load a day keeps chaos away” which is much easier now that we’ve been in apartments with a washer/dryer included. This made picking up cloth diapering a breeze! Oh and the wishlist or whatever for household items is like magic- after writing down I need some sort of shelves for both the toddler’s room and near the front door, I found both super cheap!

One of the reasons I don’t think I ever really was able to get into it the few times I tried is that I really wanted to just jump in and customize it to my situation. I always thought you *had* to start with the 30 day intro (which I knew pretty well already). I also still have trouble comprehending the “shiny sink” thing. A sink with some water droplets on it never bothered me:/ I tend to think as long as one side is empty the other can be piled with dishes lol. That MAY lead me to not unloading/loading the dishwasher as fast as I should… Karma got me and the sprayer on my machine now has to be replaced so we’ll be hand washing this weekend since maintenance can’t get the part until Monday at the earliest. I ended up shining my sink after all so it would be nice and clean to wash in lol! Trying not to freak out- I may have suggested to hubby that if he did the dishes after breakfast this AM, I’d pimp myself out for him. Yeah I’m a chore whore like that:) Seriously though cleavage = helpful husband!

So anyways, I’m cheating and just doing what I can. The meal planning is what I really am trying to get because I can get so lax on cooking. Really trying to have a set idea though I don’t always end up needing to cook everything I plan. Tonight I came home after attending a women’s expo with a plate of food that everyone ended up nibbling off of (even the dang dog who I think got the lion’s share- UGH!) and saw that hubby had heated up some rice and beans from the other day for him and our toddler. So my pasture raised chicken for Rubber Chicken has to wait until tomorrow. The routines still bug me as I tend to stay up way too late which makes doing them hard but it nudges me towards a better bedtime. I’m fairly familiar with the program so this was simple for me- if you barely know what FlyLady is, please follow her exact instructions at least at first (the big one of course is ironically to not to get caught up in perfectionism- so try to go by the guidelines but don’t obsess over them!). So far I’m sticking with it even if I have to cut back a lot. Amazingly the setting out an outfit helps so much. I’ve tried doing it in the past and got too moto so would spend hours making outfits of my whole closet then not keep up with it after those clothes got worn:/ So not use to structure…

I’ll keep you all updated- I was going to post about something really exciting but then realized I still need to wait a bit for personal reasons so stayed tuned! It also explains my slow start to blogging…